


Ittetsu Takeda's Weirdest Day Ever

by Melie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 17:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11696016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melie/pseuds/Melie
Summary: Being a teacher is no easy job.No. Seriously.There's nothing easy about it.And then sometimes it just gets... weird.(Now includes a Takeda/Ukai bonus)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bisc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisc/gifts).



“I...”  
There was no finishing that sentence. In fact, there was no coming back from this, period. Ittetsu knew it, just like he knew he would never be able to calm the roaring laughter which shook his whole classroom.  
No matter what happene by the time he retired, nothing would ever top this. Ever.  
“Please explain.”  
Somehow his words carried over to the mayhem and reached Hinata, who in the meantime had proceeded to walk proudly to his seat.  
He had not, however, taken off what sat on his head. Ittetsu did not know much about animals, but he could surmise that it was a cage originally destined to small rodents, or something similar.  
What it was doing on his student's head still remained to be determined.  
“Well, hum.”  
In spite of the brave face he was putting on, Hinata had a moment's hesitation before continuing. At least, he had not tried to pretend that nothing was amiss, which Takeda was secretly thankful for.  
“I lost a bet.”  
Ittetsu could see where this was going, and was about to cut the whole conversation short when Shoyo blurted everything out in one go:  
“Kageyama (1) said that he'd be the fastest at cleaning his bedroom and I said that I could clean mine faster AND do my homework on top of that and so we made a bet and I lost and now I have to wear this on my head for the whole day as it was lying around in his house for some reason or another and I can see perfectly well and it's not dangerous so-”  
“Please be quiet.”  
The rest of the class had finally calmed down. Ittetsu managed to refrain from sighing or rubbing his temples or just exiting the room, which to many other teachers would have looked like a perfectly valid and fulfilling option. Instead, he set his gaze on Hinata and took on his most patient voice.  
“It is not permitted to wear such things in class, Hinata. I must ask you to take it off.”  
“But it's going to protect him from getting hit in the head by the ball!!!”  
“Tanaka,” Ittetsu said as firmly as possible without lifting his eyes from his current target, “please proceed to your own classroom.”  
There was no other interruption from outside the door.  
“Now, Hinata. Please.”  
“But-”  
“I am sure you and Kageyama (2) will find another way to settle your bet.”  
He should not have said that. He knew it as soon as the words passed his lips. He should never, ever have said that.  
You can't always be a perfect teacher.  
Nevertheless, it worked, for the moment at least. Slowly, and silently, Hinata removed the cage from his head, and the class resumed.  
It's only when he was safely facing the blackboard that Ittetsu allowed himself to break and let out a deep sigh, careful however not to let it transform into a laugh.  
Later, when Nishinoya showed up to practice proudly and triumphantly wearing that very same hamster cage, Ittetsu simply turned to Keishin with the blankest looks on his face and simply stated:  
“Your turn.”  
... before turning his back to the whole situation, his mind filled with nothing but the pure bliss of knowing he would not have to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) So, turns out that I originally wrote "Kagehina" here, and it would have remained as such had a friend not alerted me to it (I can still hear her laughing).
> 
> (2) I made. The mistake. TWICE. That's it. That's his name now.


	2. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, a short Takeda/Ukai bonus.

“A hamster cage. He was wearing a HAMSTER CAGE. On his HEAD!!!”

Ittetsu nodded as he stepped aside to let Keishin in.

“But why, though?”

The question was probably rhetorical, since Nishinoya had been kind enough to explain everything to his coach.

“Sometimes, there is no 'why', only 'because'.”

Keishin blinked. Several times. In rapid succession. Leading Ittetsu to deduce that now wasn't the best time for his musings.  
After all, the only reason for his own calm demeanour was that he had had several hours to digest the incident.

“Will you be taking a shower first?” he asked instead, attempting to lead them back to their routines.  
“Yes please.”

A few seconds passed, while Keishin started walking towards the bathroom.

“A hamster cage. On his head!!”

Ittetsu nodded again, and went to tidy his table, full of paperwork and copies on which he had fallen asleep the night before (Keishin had not been able to stay then, hence why he'd never made it to the bed), and proceeded to prepare their dinner.

Every now and then, he could hear incredulous exclamations barely muffled by the running water.

Finally, arms wrapped themselves around his waist, while a chin rested on his shoulder. They were going to be able to stop thinking about the children and enjoy their evening together.

“But WHY, though?!!”

... or maybe not.


End file.
